80% of Communication Has Nothing to Do With Your Words

Material success in this world, meaning that if you follow the blueprint and the manual that you've been given, I have to say by the way I I and I like you can't achieve authority if you don't believe in an authority. That's very interesting. Well, I have I've never made that connection before. And I said you need to work on your self-esteem. And that requires you to work on your character. Is quite literally how present to the moment you are. It makes such a difference in the other [music] person. They have no choice but to respect you when you have a downward inflection. Oh, you who believe, focus on yourselves. Those who are misguided will not harm you if you're guided. This affects your dunya, this affects your deen, this affects your akhira, it affects everything. The way that they're talking, everybody's falling asleep. It's like nothing. You need it. Wake everybody up. You need to know how to speak. It's important when you have that authority. Words move masses, subhanallah, or they can. Or they can put people to sleep as well. There was this um Maybe you see that this this this this this this this I can't they are many was Facebook and people were spreading this clip from this Saudi dude. Maybe he's Saudi, I don't know. He he won an award for like a rhetorical award or like communication award or something. He had a presentation. He started off with a cigarette and then he was saying how like Are the TED Talk winner? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was about to spark a cigarette and he used it as yep. And then he was saying like basically like how how people can just be convinced, you know, by the way a certain info piece is presented. >> Yeah. And he challenged a like misconception that I had is because bro he had a heavy accent. Mhm. And he still managed to shake people. Yeah. And then I see you I see your brand. I see what you're talking about. I'm saying, "Dudes, this is what I've wanted to see, but phrased in a way that is comprehensible by for many people." Mhm. So, I was like, "La la, I have to see more. And I have to see more. And I only have I have one complaint about what you do, which is I don't see I want to see more." I want to see so much more, wallahi. Thank you, brother. Appreciate it. So, I'll tell you this this podcast as well, yeah, I've pivoted a gazillion times. And I think the way you put it is probably it's so true is that it's about it's about being natural. Mhm. So, now I'm including like things early on and everything. Usually, I start with something, Shako. First of all, look, uh the Baraka Blueprint the whole reason behind the Baraka Blueprint is an experiment. It's an experiment and I'm the test subject. I want to learn. And whatever I learn, I want to share with my audience. I don't care about the size. Whoever is here to get the benefits, ahlan wa sahlan. Please welcome. If there is something I can do better and I am an open book and I receive as well. I receive the input and I receive the feedback. But most importantly, Subhana, the people that I invite I want to learn from them. the guideline is in the name, the Baraka Blueprint. It is the blessed blueprint. We have been given a blueprint by God. That blueprint guarantees physical and metaphysical success. Mhm. manual that you've been given 110% you'll smash your KPIs. And you're also guaranteed the major prize. Which is what happens afterwards. And that's why and I I'm I love the idea of rhetorical skill set and presentation and communication skill set and to be this skillful communicator, which is why I am in love with the Quran. That's That's the Baraka blueprint, basically. Love it. And I'm drawn to stories. So, now that this ever-growing monologue episode by episode is over, Shacko, I want to thank you so much for being here in the podcast. A warm, warm welcome. Take the What do What What do they call it? The torch, yeah? The torch, the rod, yeah. You know what? Tell us a story that shaped the brand and the man and the character Shacko Toure Luqman today. First of all, thank you, brother. Thank you for that beautiful introduction and I can tell it's refreshing to be on a podcast. I've been on a lot of great podcasts, but it's refreshing to be on a podcast a podcast with somebody who is so warm in their energy and so authentic. Even from the way that you greeted me at the door, you gave me like a 5-second hug. My wife was confused. She was a bit jealous. And I felt your energy immediately and it was just so warm and authentic and I think that's something that's missing these days, not only in Dubai, but all around the world. And I'm here to share and add value to you and your your viewers and listeners as much as possible. >> [clears throat] >> So, a story that shaped me up. I need you to clarify the question and I'll tell you why. Of course. Because you asked me to share a story that shaped me, my brand, my character, because those are different things. They are tied in. There is an integration there, for sure. But, in order to help me think of a particular story that might be most valuable, what exactly are you asking? Okay, that's a great follow-up question. I'll I'll clarify. Um you're right. Now that I hear it, this is definitely very different. I'll choose the most important, your I am I am very drawn to your character, mashallah. Thank you. The first time I saw a video of you, bro, I've never met you before. Tayyib. Honestly, it wasn't the most uh And by the way, don't get me wrong. You have many videos that are visually engaging and interactive. And you have videos as well that is that is a talking overhead with the subtitles. Mhm. So, usually people they say that, "Oh, okay, I'm drawn to this like visual thingy and whatever." Habibi, again, I need to be very clear. Never met you. First video I see of you is just you saying something. Mhm. I was drawn to what you said. Mhm. And it has something to do with the knowledge that you are dropping, the value that you are giving. Mhm. But one thing I really admired is your respect, your adab. And this can only come from your character. So, yes, please tell me what shaped your Well, nobody's ever asked me that question before. So, congratulations. Thank you. >> And and I'm honored. No, no, truly I am honored because I have to admit that's a difficult question to answer. And the reason I say that is the first thing that comes to mind is my character's not perfect. And there are flaws in my character. And especially when you're married, for anybody who is either married or thinking of marriage, and I'm sure you'd agree with this, your wife is the person in your life that will bring out the faults in your character more than anything. So >> 1000% So first and foremost, I want to give a shout out to my wife for being so authentic in her reflections and that's what a a good woman does. God bless her soul. Thank you so much, brother. Likewise. That is a mirror. Women, not only women, in your life, they're mirrors, but the world itself is a mirror. What I mean by that is the way that you treat me is not only a reflection of me, but it is a reflection of you as well. Same thing with me. When I meet people, one of my personal philosophies and this ties into character is I like to see the best in people. I don't look at the negative traits. I don't look at bad habits. If I notice a pattern, I'm aware of it, but I don't I try my best not to judge them on it. And that phrasing of what I just said, I try my best not to judge them. I'm not going to say I don't judge them because I find with character development, you need something called self-awareness. >> [snorts] >> If I had to summarize character development and also personal development into one concept, one concept which is more important than the rest in my opinion, that is self-awareness. Because as much as I want to say I'm not going to judge you, I'm a human being. I have flaws. Not only do I have a soul and a heart, but I have a mind which is full of ego like every other human being. Therefore, I made a commitment about 12 years ago when I learned about the whole concept of the ego that I am going to become as self-aware [snorts] as humanly possible. So if I raise my voice towards my wife or if I catch myself judging a client who's putting their trust in me or if I get frustrated because somebody cut me off and then I cuss at them, I am going to develop the type of self-awareness that catches it, notices it as quickly as possible. So, even if I'm not perfect, at least I'm going to be 1% better than who I was a few seconds ago. Simply by having the awareness of what I did wrong. Most people go through life with hazy vision, a cloud in front of their eyes, not realizing, not being aware of the flaws that they have. Now, you asked the question personally to me, so I'm going to stop talking about people and what people can do and what they should do and what they probably do. I'll talk about myself since that was your question. And I must admit this actually points to the I guess the fact that I'm not so used to talking about myself, maybe because I coach people on a daily basis, which is why a conversation like this is quite refreshing and I really do appreciate this question. Thank you. But the self-awareness would be number one. That's the first thing that comes to mind. Secondly, it would be being dedicated to a spiritual practice. Because the way that I see it, whether you're a Muslim, a Christian, a Buddhist, a spiritualist, whatever you are, if you don't have some kind of ultimate authority above you, how can you expect to be an authority in your life and have people listen to you and follow you? How can I expect my wife to submit to me and listen to me if I'm not going to hold myself accountable to a higher authority? And when I started practicing this mindset and living this way, it humbled me dramatically to the point where I can say, and I'd like to think easily, yeah, I'm wrong. I was wrong about that. Or this is an area that I need improvement. I would say that is a strength that I have developed and anybody can develop if they humble themselves, realize that they are not the number one authority in their lives. There is a bigger picture. Even if they don't believe in God. If they don't have a bigger picture, a bigger vision of what they're going after, then everything they build is going to crumble. And that happens and starts with the psychology. Which is why that self-awareness paired with the humility of realizing that I'm not the number one authority in my life, that humbles me, I guess. And that ends up affecting every single area of my life. Not only how I approach this interview, how I approach my marriage, but how I approach a setback in my business. If I have a bad month in my business where it's technically horrible, numbers-wise bad bad month, it doesn't affect me like how it used to. Now I just say, "Qadar." It's just God's plan. It's just It just wasn't meant to be. If I get on a sales call, seems like an ideal client, they don't close, "Qadar, no worries." It's fine. And I think that feeds character development as well because you stop I stop relying on anything external to feel comfortable with myself. So, it's not one particular story that I can share with you, Ibrahim, to say this is what developed my character. It's more of a learning, a decade-long learning that I've embarked on in order to have the character that I have now, which is not perfect, but it is still developing. Okay, let's write a story. Let's write the story and um let's write the character sheets. The character sheet that I am interested in is the charismatic authority figure that commands respect and that can move the masses and that has the communication skill sets to achieve both the individual goal setting and the net positive impact that they want to apply on society. So yes, while you didn't give me one particular specific story you told me a story about the present, which is something I really appreciate. Secondly I have to say by the way I and like interesting. Well, I haven't I've never So I'll tell you what. There's one video actually from you that stopped me at my tracks, which is charisma on demand. The YouTube video? Yes. Okay. Correct. Yep. Uh and subhanallah partially one of the reasons is because like way before like long long long ago I was introduced to charisma on command. For a little while and then and subhanallah what's crazy is that I was introduced to that specifically why? Because I got married. Yeah, nice. So one of my friends, a very very good friend, my best friend actually told me Ibrahim my gift to you watch these video clips. Mhm. I watched them, I took some benefit alhamdulillah and then I left. Mhm. And then subhanallah God sends me Shako. So I see this and I say okay. As I was prepping for the podcast I realized okay, this is no longer just a communication masterclass. No, this is something very different. We're building a character and there are many arcs and there are many archetypes that we need to consider here. Tayyab, so now my question to you is this. You specifically out of everything that you chose out you could have chose you you could have chosen anything. You chose self-awareness. Mhm. You chose to specifically focus on that. Why? I'll tie I'll answer that question with a story, actually. Ooh. There you go. You get You get what you ask for. >> We got him. >> [laughter] >> So, and this ties into the character development as well. In fact, I actually said this to my clients yesterday on our group call on our mastermind call. They were talking about how to develop confidence and a grounded presence. When I started Mindset Status, my company Mhm. I was living in Sydney with my parents, you know, Kurdish tradition, you don't move out until you have to or you get married, something like that. But I chose to move out because I decided I'm starting this new business. It's a new venture. It's my first time starting a business and I had a great job at the time. I was an account manager. It was safe, secure, even during COVID. But Sydney was too familiar. I knew everybody. I knew all the streets. I was locked into that 9:00 to 5:00 mindset as well. And I wanted something completely fresh. So, I packed my bags, I sold my car, and I moved to Melbourne by myself. I was with a friend at the time, but he did his thing, I did my thing. Cool. I got a little apartment and there were lockdowns again. I don't know if you're aware of this, but Melbourne, Victoria, Australia had the longest lockdowns in the whole world. I think it was 6 or 8 months. >> Did not know that. Subhan Allah. Yeah, you couldn't leave your house for 6 months. It was It was bad, yeah. Except for like a short walk. So, for 6 months, I was locked in making content, creating reels, recording podcasts by myself, YouTube videos, every single day. Now, while I was doing that, I had feelings come up, emotions, because I was in a new environment. I was by myself. I couldn't rely on anybody. I quit my job. I I had to rely on myself financially, as well. Feelings of loneliness, feelings of fear, anxiety, where's the next client coming from? What am I going to do? I'm by myself. I felt very lonely. Uncertainty, self-doubt. Now, Subhan Allah, I was in a position I wasn't in an environment where I couldn't escape those feelings. And that was prior to my reversion, by the way. So, I could have drank, I could have done anything, but I didn't. I just decided to sit down and feel those feelings because of self-awareness. Every single morning, I would wake up with a feeling of anxiety. I'd have a glass of water, I'd sit on the couch in my apartment by myself. I'd close my eyes and I'd meditate on whatever feelings came up for me. All those feelings I mentioned, the fear and anxiety and self-doubt. The more self-aware I became, the more I could accept them. And I emphasize accept, because that is a pillar of self-esteem. Without self-acceptance, good luck developing a character. What kind of character can you develop if it's not authentic and if it's not accepted by yourself internally? So, I would have these emotions and I would accept them to the point of no return. Meaning there was nothing I could do about it except feel it. Now, if I accepted it to the point where it's fully accepted, now that becomes part of my character. Now, I am the type of man who doesn't care if he has anxiety because I'm all right with it. >> And you've accepted it. >> I've accepted it. I don't care if I feel lonely. I've accepted it. That's the definition of a grounded man, in my opinion. That's the definition of a of a integrated man or woman. Because if you accepted it, it can't scare you. It can't scare you. And even if it does, you're okay with it. Because now it's integrated. It's just part of who you are. And that allows you to show up in a stronger frame when you're dealing with somebody that is dealing with it. If my wife or my clients or my mother, if they're afraid of something, they get triggered by something, I can be there showing up, being that rock that they need in the moment. Because they might say, "He has strong character." in that context because I've accepted that situation. And that started, to answer your question, with After that, I'm telling you, brother, that was 20 21, my confidence went through the roof after that, when I started accepting all those deep dark emotions. And ever since I haven't been the same. It felt like a complete evolution. And I want to give a warning, by the way, because if somebody truly accepts this process and they're willing to go through it, it can be a violent process. Meaning emotionally violent. It can be emotionally very overwhelming. To the point where you feel like you're in depression. You feel like you're in an anxiety that you'll never escape. You feel dark. You feel alone. Sounds like you're describing a war. It is. It's an internal battle. >> So what armor do I need? You have to take off your armor. And allow yourself to be burned. Because that fire, imagine you're a tree, that fire is going to burn away all the dead leaves. Whatever is left is going to be stronger, it's going to be fresh, and it's going to be deeply rooted as well. Who is it? I'm disappointed I can't remember who said this, but in order for the leaves to reach heaven, the roots have to go down to hell. >> Yeah, Shaku Taha said it. >> No, I think it was a poet or something. Or was it maybe Maybe you can find it. I need I I need to write it down. Sorry, I this this was really I can't >> it was Young. I think it was Carl Young. He said, "In order for In order for the leaves to reach heaven, the roots have to reach down to hell." And that is He was talking about the psyche. He was talking about the human psyche. And that is the truth. That is the reality. And it's the same thing. So you ask, "What armor do I need?" It was Carl Young. Amazing. There is no armor that's going to protect you from the truth. The truth is the truth, and you just have to let it wash over you. >> So in order for some parts to process for some parts have to burn? Absolutely, brother. >> Oh my days. >> Yeah, it's like when somebody either reverts to Islam, even Christians say when they become a Christian, they're born again, right? >> love love that. I love that phrasing because it's the reality. >> It's very interesting. >> Even in in new age spirituality, I felt like when I reverted to Islam, you're born again. You are going through an evolution. Yeah. I'm sure maybe when you moved from Gothenburg and you came to Dubai there was some psych psychic evolution, >> 1000% even subhanallah the concept of taubah uh repenting from sin is is it's the exact same thing. You are you you're not only turning a page, you're actually burning part of the book. That's right. >> You're discarding some parts and that is painful. Yeah. this entire conversation about hey, I want to be this rhetorically skilled presenter who dominates meetings and convinces stakeholders to swing my way or whatever is not purely a matter of communication skill sets. It has a lot to do with Brother, the external part of what we teach, the body language, the tonality, the say this when this happens, that's probably less than 20% of the work. 80% of the work is how grounded are you? How reactive are you when things don't go your way? How nervous do you feel when your boss walks in the room? How present to the moment are you? How emotionally intelligent are you? How self-aware are you? The very first module that every client goes through is called presence and energy, not authority and whatever. It's about the inner work and sometimes I must admit because this is the way social media is unfortunately, sometimes I make Instagram videos where it's it sounds like that. It's like hey, if you want to be authority in the boardroom, say these phrases and I do that because I know it attracts people. It attracts a lot of attention and you need that because eyeballs are currency in today's day and age. But then I make my YouTube videos which clearly you've done your homework. I go deep. I I the whiteboard out. I talk about the concepts that are more ingrained, more holistic. >> I love that by the way, Marshall. Like keep it up. Thank you, brother. And that's most of the conversation with clients as well. and by the way, that's why I chose communication as my area of expertise because in order to be a great communicator, you have to level up as a person. You can't That's why I don't like corporate training. There's a lot of In fact, a lot of my clients have done corporate leadership trainings that the company brings in. They talk about the technical stuff, and sure it might be a bit helpful, and it is in some cases. No, but it makes sense. And I'm sorry to cut you off. It makes sense that the corporate training is like this because they see communication as a soft skill. Yeah. But the way to me, Samih, I'm sorry if I'm if I'm ignorantly misquoting you, but to me it sounds like the way you're describing communication is not that. It's an asset. It's a leverage. Communication skills are that, a skill set. But in order to have great, outstanding, even just above average communication skills, you need to work on the emotional side of things, the presence and mindset behind it. That's what I'm saying. Okay, now Okay, now it makes sense. I saw I saw I saw some You said something in one of the clips that I was going through. You said that communication is an inner state. I And I'm going to be completely honest with you. I didn't fully understand. I'm I filled some gaps in my head thinking, "Okay, one of the conclusions that I arrived to is that yes, it has to do with your level of confidence. This was very obvious. At least when I'm talking to colleagues and even colleagues that are friends of mine that I'm calming down before that very important meeting they're going to have with all these stakeholders, right? And I try to give words of encouragement even if it's temporarily temporarily just pushes that confidence a bit more upwards. So but but Suhaili you're you're giving me a whole new layer. It's like Shako, you have you have to understand Yanni right now for me you're you're you're opening a vortex. Right now it's a vortex that is being opened and I'm just trying to I'm I'm trying to understand what I'm saying. sorry I cut you off. No, no, it's okay. >> And I love this. want you to I want to do the following. So one of the things that I because as a project manager one thing I love to do is I love to design systems. I've done that for my projects. I think that's okay. I want to do it on a whole different level which is which is why I'm trying to well design my life. I think the most important project Shako is life. So therefore we need to apply the project manager's mindset which which means that we need to review certain things and we need to develop certain things and here you're telling me in order to develop the speech we have to develop the person. So I want I I want to understand one thing. I want you to help me build this system and design the system that accommodates this person. Okay. Therefore my question is this. Let's talk about this journey of self-awareness that you embarked on. What does What system do I need to have in place to make the most use of this journey? I'll give you something very practical. Please. >> Because I know when you talk systems, practicality is the way to go. 1,000%. And I'm not sure if you've seen this video, but the first thing that all our clients go through is what I call the five pillars of communication. Mhm. So, this does tie into self-awareness, character building, and in general communication skills. So, for anybody listening, I would actually encourage them to take notes, pull out your notes app on your iPhone, because this is This is going to set you up for a good while. And we have YouTube videos on this as well. So, the five pillars of communication were the five modules first modules that I had to come up with and decide which concepts in communication are the most impactful to develop fantastic communication skills. And there was everything from negotiation to first impressions to public speaking. I had to come up with the five so I could give it to my clients on a platform. And I'll share it with you now. The first, as I already mentioned, is presence and energy. So, this is the system. Number one, presence and energy. What is presence? What is energy? Presence is quite literally how present to the moment you are. While you're listening to me right now, while anybody's listening to the podcast, are you thinking about what to have for dinner? Are you thinking about something somebody said? Are you thinking about what you're going to do after this, or are you here listening to me, feeling what I'm feeling right now, trying to listen to me not only with your ears, but also with your whole body. Seeing if you can feel my emotion while I'm talking. This is what allows you, and I can tell you're a great listener as well. This is what allows you to truly listen to somebody. Presence. So, you're not overthinking, which is one of the biggest mistakes people make, by the way, in their communication. It's overthinking, being in their head. That's presence and energy. Energy is your emotional state in the moment. So, for example, if you walk into a room, you set the mood. Something you did really well, you set the mood the moment we walked in. Gave me a big hug, warm welcome, polite and respectful to my wife, offered us drinks, big smile on your face, making jokes. Your energy, what did that do? That impacted my energy, my wife's energy, and everybody else in the room. Because you had a strong frame. Your frame is the way that you view the situation and the world at large as well, but mainly in the situation, uh strictly speaking for this conversation, communication-wise, social dynamic-wise. Your frame was "This is fantastic. So excited to meet Shaka. We're going to have a great time." That was the frame that you had, and that energy influenced to me. It influences those around you. And that's exactly what you need to learn how to do. It's that energy. And by the way, you do that by being present. If you're not present to the moment, you can't do that. It becomes very difficult. What happens if you're not present is you will end up buying into whoever else's frame. Making you a follower rather than a leader. >> Mhm. Leaders have strong frames, and they impact the energy through their presence. Does that make sense? That makes perfect sense. Cool. That's presence and energy. Okay. Body language and tonality is the second. I tell my clients one of the easiest ways to start projecting more confidence >> and authority and charisma is by working on your body language and your tonality. Even if you don't feel confident. Even if you're overthinking. Even if you don't know what to say next. If you walk into a meeting job interview, podcast, public speaking, networking event, any situation. Mhm. Your body language is open, you have a big smile on your face, your eye contact is strong, and your tonality has fluctuations. You have variety in your tone. Sometimes you whisper. People lean in when you whisper. And then you make a point and you slap the table. That impacts the person in front of you. Even your facial expressions changing right now is because of mirror neurons in your brain. It picks up what I'm feeling and it matches it because that's what it does. That's what it does when it feels a strong frame. Everybody does that. That's why when people are telling a story in a group setting and they're great storytellers, people lean in. Right? So, your body language is something very easy to start impacting and influencing. And if you I'll give some pointers for each pillar that we go through. Please. For body language some keys to keep in mind is open body language. >> Mhm. It is being dynamic in your gestures. Not too much, but using your hands in a way where you can make a point. Mhm. And maybe use it as a prop even if you're saying, you know, I went and got my cup of coffee. Just using your hands in a more playful way. Sure. That's body language being more open and being slow in your movements. Depending on the context. right now, because I'm going through the five pillars, I'm a bit enthusiastic, I can get away with being a bit quicker in my movements. >> Yes. But if I tell a serious story and I'm slowing down, then it's congruent, which is fine. It matches, it's authentic. Things to avoid, fidgeting, being too closed, obviously. You know, most people know that. being too reactive, nodding too quickly, smiling too quickly, laughing when you don't think something's funny. That's submissive behavior. That was body language and then there's tonality as well. I'll give some pointers on tonality. As long as you don't have an upward inflection, which sounds like this at the end of the sentence, the tone goes up, that's what makes people sound nervous and unsure. Interesting. Okay. And I swear to Allah because I I've I've I've noticed these things. I've noticed them in both corporate settings and in social gatherings as well. I knew something felt off. Mhm. Makes perfect sense that this doesn't make sense. Yeah, exactly. >> Something felt off. That's why presence and energy is number one. Okay. Oh, snap. >> yeah. See? Because whatever you do is going to impact the energy of the other person. 100% Energetically, they're going to feel it. That's why to answer your question, communication is energetic. Why have I not met him before? Any [laughter] Please take me through the journey. Continue. >> anyway, let's continue. So, upward inflection, weak tonality, makes you sound uncertain. Most people sound like this. To change that, have a downward inflection. I'm not Shaka from Mind's Eye status? I'm Shaka from Mind's Eye status. I'm Abraham, nice to meet you. No, Abraham, nice to meet you. It makes such a difference in the other person. Mhm, because subconsciously they feel it. They don't know it mentally. Most people unless they're trained in this. But people feel it. You'll notice this with men even talking to women who they're nervous to talk to, their inflection goes up at the end of the sentence. But confident men, they have good tonality. So that's tonality, uh that's body language and tonality. The third is learning how to read people, aka social intelligence. social intelligence is your ability to read the room. If somebody can't read the room, let's say we're at a dinner table and there's one person that doesn't realize they're being too loud, doesn't realize they're being too personal, or a bit disrespectful, everybody else might exchange looks, and now that person's value lowers, their social status lowers. Yes. Because they haven't picked up on social cues. Learning how to read people is extremely important. So this means noticing the body language. For example, as I was talking about tonality when I mentioned the upward inflection, I saw you open your mouth, and I know you would have let me continue talking, but I could see that something spiked for you, so I paused to let you speak. Right? Mhm. You did. That That's an example of social calibration by being able to read people. >> And you can only get that when you are present, and you feel the energy. Bang on, buddy. You got it. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. In fact, that's exactly what I say to my clients. I say, "In order to read people effortlessly, just be present to the moment." Which is why I actually don't go too deep. I mean, we have modules on it, but when it comes to coaching calls, we don't go too deep into notice this body language, notice that, if their feet are pointing away, because if you're self-aware and if you're present, you'll notice those things anyway. The more self-aware you are, the more aware you will be of those around you. And if you're not, you're going to miss out on opportunities. People don't like people that can't pick up on social cues. They simply can't. Make sense? Yes. Uh did I miss the fifth one? No, that was three. Ooh. Oh, yeah, we're still on tonality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, that was So, we did presence and energy. >> intelligence, right? Yes. So, there was presence and energy, yes, body language, tonality, social intelligence, social intelligence or reading people, yes, and the fourth one is building rapport, building connections. The reason why this is a pillar of communication is because it doesn't matter what industry you're in, you're going to be dealing with people. Yes, correct. As a project manager, as a coach, a teacher, social media manager, pharmacist, doctor, engineer, no matter what industry you're in, you have to deal with human beings. >> Communicationally it matters with people. Exactly. Even if you're behind a computer all day, you have to land that job somehow. Of course. You're going to have to get a promotion somehow if that's your goal. If you get married, you're going to have to communicate. And if you don't know how to build connections with people, build a rapport, then it's going to be very tough. there are many ways that you can do that as well. And obviously, I don't like making it too systematic because you want to make it authentic. And again, you probably guessed Ibrahim, but the more present you are, the easier it is to build connections and rapport with people. >> 1,000% >> Because it makes you a better listener. So, we'll leave that at number four. Well, I'm sorry to cut you off. Why is that its own category? Because of how I introduced it. If you don't know how to build connections with people, you're going to have a hard time. Most most men that I meet that are single that don't want to be single, I can tell why. It's because they don't know how to build rapport with people. They don't know how to build a connection with a woman. There's a bit of a lack of social intelligence, and it all ties into each other because they don't know how to read people, because they're not present enough, and because they're not aware of their body language, it makes it difficult to build rapport and build connections. But when it comes to building connections, that module is a bit more technical than the rest because I do teach strategic connection building as well because sometimes you need it. Sometimes you do need it. If you're closing a deal. If you're meeting your in-laws. If you're at a networking event. If you have to save face for somebody. Sometimes you or if you're stuck somewhere with somebody and you have to get to know them. Sometimes even on a bloody podcast, man. You might have a guest that you don't really like and you have to you have to build a connection. You have to make sure you're a good host. You have to make sure you're polite. It's a respect thing as well. And that comes with asking the right questions, mirroring. Being curious, for example. So, that's why it's its own pillar. Mhm. Okay. Makes sense. Yeah. It's essential. You need it. And number five, probably I wouldn't like to say the most important, but very, very important. Confidence and authenticity. Self-esteem. This one goes without saying, but I'll say anyway. If you don't In fact, I was telling a client this earlier today. I said, "Did you realize that if you develop more confidence things will start falling on your lap?" Because people and opportunities are drawn to the confidence. People are drawn to it. That's why it's easier to find a good wife when you're confident in yourself. Because women are drawn to that. Great opportunities are drawn to it. You are drawn to me because of the confidence I display even on social media. Opportunity Clients will come to you that way. I'm I like reading biographies lately. I'm reading the biography of Julius Caesar at the moment. And something that the author keeps repeating over and over again is how self-confident and self-assured Julius Caesar was. At first when I read it, I thought, "Why is he mentioning his confidence? You know, we're talking about history and military strategies and politics." But the answer was so obvious immediately as I thought about it. I'm like, "Of course. If it wasn't for his confidence, he wouldn't have gone after what he wanted. He wouldn't have achieved what he achieved." Anybody that is highly successful, they had to have the audacity to go after it. They had to have the confidence and audacity to say, "Yeah, I can achieve it. I can go after this. I'm worthy of going after it." And you develop that type of ruthless, relentless self-confidence where it's like, "This is what I want. I'm going to get it no matter what." talking about self-awareness, I know that I am stubborn. But, in the best ways, in my opinion, which is when I want something, I'm going to get it, brother. That's also a very stubborn thing to say. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Exactly. It is. >> The Iraqi in me recognizes that. >> Yeah, yeah, 100% 100%. And uh obviously I I believe in in it happening the way God intends it to happen, of course. I believe in Qadar. Uh but, I also trust that God will give us what we want one way or another. And uh there's a beautiful quote in the Quran. Subhan Allah, where he says, God says, uh be grateful and I will give you more. Wait, Allah in shakartum la'azidannakum Surat Ibrahim chapter number 7 verse 14. >> Masha Allah, that's amazing. >> No, chapter 14 verse 7, sorry. Masha Allah. Now, let's break that down. I'm not a scholar. But, I've done a lot of research on goal setting, on the ideas of manifestation, law of attraction, things like this. And they're all borrowing from things like this, concepts like this, from God. >> Yes, of course. Be grateful. That's the correct translation. Be grateful, and I will give you more. Correct. Okay, amazing. So, he So, Allah is saying, "Be grateful, and I will give you more." He's not saying, "I'll give you more, then be grateful." >> Exactly, correct. >> He's saying, "Be grateful, then I'll give you more." La'in shakartum la'azidannakum. If you're grateful, I'll give you more. Exactly. Man, that is what these new age spirituals talk about. They They say, they say, "Sit down, manifest, meditate, be grateful for what you want, and then you will get it." Yeah, that's true. That's exactly what manifestation is, brother. That's what visualization is. You want to feel it and be grateful for it before it happens. that's my attitude. On the way here, I was telling my wife, I was like, I was like, "My love, I can't wait." I didn't even use the Actually, I didn't use that tense, the future tense. I said, "I'm so excited of what I can do with this. I'm excited that we can achieve this with this." Talking in the present tense. Grateful for it in the present tense. Stubborn about it. It's happening one way or another. And that's it. What I'm not stubborn in is if I have to change my approach. If somebody gives me feedback, I'm very open to feedback. Especially from people that have already been through it. People that are much wiser than me. >> I forgot the question. I went on a bit of a rant there. You were talking about the uh You were expanding on the importance of having the strong self-esteem. >> Confidence. And confidence in of itself. We then touched on gratitude. Yes. Yes. So >> Why did you link gratitude to confidence? >> It's a very good question. And it's loaded because I have some strong feelings about it. Yeah? Okay, I'm curious what you think. I'm curious what you think. 1001% I'll tell you. Yeah. Very often Yeah. it has happened to me and it is happening to me that I am being told that I'm arrogant. And I say arrogance and confidence are not the same. No, of course not. and gratitude is the opposite is the complete exact opposite of arrogance. Because a a person who is arrogant is attributing things to himself. Meaning he listens to the ego. Yeah. Gratitude or the ultimate gratitude is listening to the divine inspiration. Mhm. Ooh. That's why when when when Adam alayhis salaam when he sneezed the natural reaction for him, his fitra, his first principles as a human being was to say alhamdulillah. All praise and gratitude belongs to Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. And that is why it became the Sunnah when you sneeze say alhamdulillah. Because you're grateful for everything. Even those hiccups and those glitches. You're grateful for that as well. I I'm sitting and thinking subhanallah. I say, "Okay, Allahu Akbar. I have a character in front of me who I don't know if exuberates is the right word but but exuberates confidence. He has confidence. He is confident in what he is saying. And what he is delivering to people. I try to build that. I'm very very confident in what I am delivering to people and also in what I have left to learn. If I'm going to be very honest. Yeah, Ibrahim has a long way to go. Ibrahim hasn't reached 30 yet. If Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala keeps me alive and I do and I then I realize again I have another long way to go. We have many lessons that we have to learn. So, yeah. I know that I have a long way to go as well but I don't think confidence should be conflated with arrogance. But I'm interested to know why people are doing that. It's It's because they're intimidated, When somebody who is truly confident in themselves, what does that do to the ones in the room that don't have that level of self-acceptance? Which is hand in hand with confidence, self-acceptance. What does it do to those people? They get scared. They get scared but why? Why? It shines light on their insecurity. >> Ah. It exposes it. The ego cannot survive under the light of awareness. That's [snorts] Eckhart Tolle. Therefore, if you have such a level of presence to the point where you walk in in room, you're self-aware and you can see people and you look into their souls because you're so grounded and present. Their ego retracts. It hisses and it shuttles back into the darkness. And people don't like that because it's uncomfortable because it just brings forth the authenticity. by the way, I'm going to give you a bit of a hot take, something that a lot of people don't like hearing, but it's the reality. You should be very careful of insecure people, and you shouldn't befriend them. I know that sounds harsh, unless they're working on themselves, unless they're self-aware, you should avoid them at all costs. Why? again, unless they're self-aware, they don't want to change, and they're going to bring you down with them. That's why even Robert Greene in The 48 Laws of Power, he says, "Avoid the unlucky and unhappy because they want to drag you down with them." And they don't want to be alone. They Misery loves company, right? if you're interacting with somebody and you can tell that there's a bit of envy there, there's a bit of resistance, a bit of insecurity, how can you trust somebody like that if you're not seeing the authentic version of themselves? If somebody's not being authentic to you, how can you trust them? Because uh because they're hiding something. Of course they are. They're hiding themselves. They're not going to tell you what they really think. They're not going to tell you if they disagree with you or if they think what you're doing is stupid, but a good friend will. A good friend will say, "I don't agree with that. I'll tell you why you're wrong, Ibrahim. A, B, C." Whenever I reach people, I interact with people like this in my life. I love it. I love going to dinner with a couple of friends, you know, two, three good friends and I say something and they challenge it. It's like, cool. This person's authentic. I can trust him. But if they don't have that self-esteem, not only are they not going to go after their goals, but that energy is going to infect my life and my family as well. I'm going to shut that out. And And no longer do I see why this would be a an unpopular opinion or a hot take or why people would not like it. It actually sounds very obvious, as a matter of fact. It is, yeah. People I made a video about it once and people were saying, you have to give him a chance. Brother, if you give everybody a chance, you're not going to have any time for yourself. I'm not saying don't give people chances. I do. But you need to protect your own time first. And if you're going to give people chances, do it in a controlled way. Do it in a selfless way. For example, be nice to the person delivering your halibut. Be person Be nice to the person washing your car. Be a gentleman to the waiter, to the person taking care of the studio, as you were. Do it in your everyday life. Get off your bloody high horse. Being nice to everybody. But nobody has an unconditional right for your time and company. No. So, there's no need to entertain those that don't deserve it. That's true. That's true. I was talking about that with my wife today, actually. Subhanallah. Yeah, everybody wants especially Look, I'm not Like, I'm not famous. I'm not a celebrity. I just have some followers on Instagram. But people see that and it triggers something in them. And I noticed this when my Instagram following went up, that everybody wants to get coffee. Everybody wants to network and have lunch. And I told my wife, I said, I appreciate it, but if I said yes to everybody, I'm going to waste so much bloody time. Of course, you will. And plus, it also filters out the kind of people that you probably shouldn't spend time with. Again, a lot of people might not like hearing that. But, you need to be very careful with your time, even if you don't have the followers, and you don't have a massive network. This was what I did before Instagram blowing up, before moving to Dubai. I would be very particular with who I spent my time with, anyway. Even if I did go to a networking event, I wouldn't make friends just for the sake of making friends. I was drawn to those people that had high self-esteem. What you're saying ties perfectly into the Baraka blueprints. The blessed blueprint in life. Like, okay, why? First [snorts] of all, I'm a big believer in the fact that Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala has given us rights, and there are things that we're responsible for. First of all, let's start with the rights. Cuz God is so merciful that he starts with our rights, and then asks us for something. Our rights. My time. I don't owe a response immediately to any Tom, Dick, and Harry, respectfully speaking. You don't own you owe your immediate time to most people that seem to think they're privileged enough to have it. Respectfully speaking, again. Agreed. And he Why am I saying all of this? First of in Surat An-Nur, chapter 24, we learn in the Quran that Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala gives a specific command to those that want to enter a house. Ya ayyuhallazina amanu la tadkhulu First of all, there's a commandment which says, "Do not enter houses that don't belong to you unless you politely ask to enter and give greetings to those that have the house." "If you don't find anybody there, don't enter until you are given permission." "And if it is told to you, leave and return, you leave and you return." No hard feelings. This is their right. And the interpretation subhanallah is that just like a household has that right, your time is to be treated the same. any if not the most important commodity, time is up there. Because with time you get everything. And God will ask you about it. It is a There's a hadith for example where the Prophet said that one of the five things that you're going to be asked about before you're busy, your free time before you are busy. And also subhanallah, you have you have you have to care for yourself first and foremost. You are the provider to your household. You are the mentor towards your community. That means it is very important to have maximum net positive impact for those around you, that you are the best version of yourself. >> 100% So you have to prioritize yourself. >> 100% Oh you who believe, focus on yourselves. >> Can you repeat that quote, please? >> Ya ayyuha alladhina amanu alaykum anfusakum. La yadurrukum man dalla idhā ihtadaytum. O you who believe, you focus on your own selves. Verily, those who are misguided will not harm you if you are guided. Wow, mashallah. Can you send me that after the podcast? Thank you, brother. That's beautiful. I love that. So, let's talk about time, then. I'm interested in knowing how you design your operating system. Personal time? Everything. Okay. The brand. Yeah, yeah. The Shaq Taher, the self-aware coach that I want to listen to more and more and more and more and more. And I say this saraha, and look, yani, I'm I'm I'm Iraqi, yani, so I I I I have my own spice of stubbornness, yani. We're all I I think we're all stubborn in our own ways. We just have different levers to it, right? Some people are more liberal with that, right? And I'm not saying this just to praise you in your presence, subhanallah, because I know for a fact you are a person that will take criticism in the appropriate way it deserves to be. And honestly, this is my first episode with you, and I'll have more. I want to have more conversations. I want to learn from you. So, I'm not just saying this just to just to have it there. I truly mean it. And I I really took to heart what you said. I'm taking notes as we're speaking, because I told you this podcast is an experiment. I'm the test subject. I want to learn. I want people to see. It's a great approach, great frame. So, I want to understand one thing. Your week. The things that require different outputs, the all of your domains together. What is one thing you're protecting at all costs? This has to be done. That is such a good question, and subhanallah extremely apt right now because last week I made a new commitment to myself, and it is simply my morning routines. Ooh. >> Yeah, that's my answer, brother, because it's literally top of mind, and it's what I'm focused on right now, and I'll explain why. Everybody has a habit. If you ask them, if I ask you right now, Okay. what is one habit, Ibrahim, that if you do consistently, you feel amazing, and you have a great day no matter what? >> in the masjid. Pray Fajr in the masjid. >> Yes. Amazing. Love it. And you know, if you do that, you're going to perform well throughout the day, inshallah. >> 100 100% I have proof for that. >> Love it. Amazing. That's a really good answer, by the way. I'd like to replicate that one day, inshallah. Actually. I mean me and you both, yeah. As human being, I falter, but I know as a as a matter of fact, because again, experiment, right? When I did this experiment, the results impeccable. When I failed that experiment, the results speak the same. Interesting. All right, great. Well, >> [cough] >> for some people for some people, it would be that. For some people, it'll be gym, it'll be meditation, it'll be prayers, >> Of course. >> journaling, reading. For me, it was the morning routine. Why? Because I do some of my favorite things in the morning. First, I pray. Then I meditate, and I meditate in a very specific way. I visualize. And then I plan my day, so I write a little bit, and then I read for about 30 minutes. And uh I jump 50 times. >> Which is good for the body apparently. I don't know why we do that. And uh I have my coffee right after meditation by the way, which is another one of my one of my favorite things. And I sit in the silence until my wife wakes up and I have that time for myself. I love it. I love it. I love it. It's my favorite part of the day. I have to Let me be real with you, man. Please, please. One of the benefits of running your own online business is you work on your own time. So for the longest time I was waking up pretty late, having meetings until late, taking my time. And now my morning routine starts at 8:00 a.m. So it's not early. It's pretty I'd say it's pretty late actually. But before it was much later, so I'm working my way down. So for me 8:00 is a good start. I'm working my way to 7:30 then 7:00 and then 6:00 a.m. in sha Allah. When I do that my whole day is so much better. Especially because I plan my day and I've meditated and I'm operating from the version of myself that I'm stepping into. And I just feel fantastic. And there's something that ties in it goes directly hand in hand with that morning routine, which is the bedtime routine. >> Which I would argue is more important because without it I wouldn't wake up for the morning routine. So what I do every night now except for Saturday and Sunday it's a little bit later. And Friday. Sorry, Friday and Saturday. Sunday's the same. I go to bed at 10:30 p.m. I don't fall asleep at 10:30, but I close all screens at 10:30. If I'm watching reels, I close it. If I'm playing PlayStation or watching a movie, I close it. I brush my teeth. I go to bed 10:45. I read until I fall asleep, which is usually before 12:00. And that allows me to get enough sleep, 8 hours, for my morning routine to start again. So, that has been my consistent ritual for the past week and a bit, and I don't plan on stopping that anytime soon. But, it sounds to me like this is something you are very interested in protecting. Yes. Like, for example, you're you're okay, you're limiting your screen time, and when you stop scrolling and whatever. Specifically, somehow you you you you you you you you didn't specifically mention good night sleep and then stop there, or to have peace of mind to stop there. You specifically mentioned the morning routine. Everything goes back to the morning routine. Mhm. Tayyab, I'm going to be real with you as well. For some time, and I I I I go out and in to that uh frame, or rhythm, rather the lack of rhythm, where things break, bugs are introduced, and suddenly the operating system is not functioning as it should be. It's a bit slower. So, sometimes downtime is longer. The system is awake for a longer period of time, and the the morning routine suddenly goes away, and the journ- the daily journaling, or the evening journaling, is no longer there. And all of these routines and habits are just breaking. Yeah. And one thing that I have learned, subhanallah, is that there needs to be a reset system. Mhm. Because, even though we are not machines, we do have many similarities to operating systems. The logic is the same. what I want understand from you is as we human beings fall off track, what is the reset system that you implement to make sure that you get right back on track? Number one, it's not making a big deal out of it. Not beating myself >> Interesting. >> Yeah, I like to simplify things, brother. Like this is something that you know, as we come to get to know each >> other more over time, inshallah, you'll come to find that I don't like to complicate anything. Literally, I'd have a client ask me a question about this thing that's bugging him so much, and he gives me a 10-minute explanation, and I literally just reply to him saying, "Okay, don't react to it, and next time just ignore him." Like I give them the simplest answer, which might sound a bit silly hearing it on podcast, but my client looks at me and is like, "Oh my god, you're right. I'm overcomplicating the hell out of this." I approach my life the same way. If I skip a day in the gym, sure, it's not good, but I'm not going to beat myself up. Same thing for me, if I miss a morning routine, my wife she kind of laughed at me because yesterday I didn't wake up at 8:00, I woke up at 8:15. And I said, "That's all right. Like I'm still going to wake up for my morning routine, sort it out, that's it. Even if I accidentally sleep in tomorrow, that's all right. Next day, just back on it." People, when it comes to habits and being consistent and all this stuff, you you know what people want, Ibrahim? They want the magic bullet. They want the magic pill. What do I like how do I become like what's his name? David Goggins or Tony Robbins? It's like, "How do I be perfect?" It's like you think they're going to beat themselves up? I mean, maybe they would go Goggins does, but >> but but you think you're going to you think they never have a down day? Relax. Don't make it a big deal. That's just your ego speaking again. Thank you so much for that. Okay, so now let's get to the segment of the magic bullet. Let's I'm joking. No, of course. >> I don't have that. I have that later. Um >> [sighs] >> On a serious note though. Can you tell me a non-negotiable? Like something that you say no to. You keep it out like all costs. This is like the virus that you're you're installing the software to keep it away from your It would be any kind of even subtly toxic energy out of my house. >> Out of my house. Because the space that I have created with my wife that we've created together is sacred. And that is extremely important and I take that responsibility very seriously. And I feel like that now even before having kids. I can't imagine how I would feel afterwards. Uh you know, I I I love we love staying at home, playing board games, watching movies together, reading. Legend. So anything to do with clubbing and drinking and partying just it's just it's just a no-go for me. Uh very clear boundary. Very clear non-negotiable. Um that's not to say that I don't that I judge people that do it. I don't people live their own lives. That's not to say that I don't have friends who drink and things like that, but I'm just not going to bring that energy into my house. That would be number one. And also, I mean, you asked for one, but there's a list, brother. Ooh. >> There is quite a few. Go ahead. You're you're you're you're asking if you can give more value? >> I I know what I don't like. And I think that's very important for anybody listening. Know what you don't like. Know what you don't want. Because if you don't know, you're just going to leave the gates open. There's a reason why people are so drawn. That The reason why Switzerland has such a great reputation is because there's a very high bar to entry. It's not every Tom, Dick, and Harry that can get in to Switzerland. To become a a Swiss citizen, you have to pass multiple linguistic tests. You have to pass different knowledge tests and history tests. You have to have be in a certain income bracket. All these different I don't know if that last one is exactly true. But, there's a very high bar to entry. Therefore, people would you know, people would do a lot to become a citizen in a place like Switzerland. >> Of course. Meanwhile, you go somewhere else where it's extremely easy to go in, it's usually a place that not everybody wants to go because it's lower value. So, the higher the bar to entry, in other words, the higher the boundary, the stronger the boundary, the more value it implies. Visible correlation. Exactly. So, another thing that I absolutely do not tolerate in my personal life is uh negativity. Negative people, people that not only they're negative, but people that make excuses Mhm. and justify and make make excuses for why they can't achieve their goals or complain about the same things over and over. Let's say after this podcast, inshallah, we become good friends, we catch up, you come over with your wife to our house, we have dinner, whatever. And let's say you complain about something to me. I don't have a problem with that. But if I meet you again and you're complaining about the same thing and you haven't done anything about it, that's a red flag to me. Immediately I'm like, all right, this guy's on a downward trajectory. Now again, there's no judgment, but I don't need that energy in my life. But if I if I said to you that second time, "Abraham, brother, that's the second time you're bringing this up. What are you doing about it?" And then you say, "You know what, Shauky? You're right. What am I doing about it?" Boom, green flag, because you're self-aware. But if you're just justifying and complain and find reasons and excuses, I can't deal with that at all. It sounds to me, and I'm sorry to cut you off, it sounds to me that people who do that, and just tie it back to what you said, these people lack awareness, like you said. So there's no there's no presence. And in I mean in Islamic tradition it's called rafla. Rafla meaning some sort of an absence or absent-minded. rafla we're taught that rafla is a very dangerous concept. And the the the more you stray away from God consciousness, >> the more you adapt the concept of rafla, to be absent-minded. And the closer you get to God or the closer you get to the the the image of God consciousness, the more present you are. Mhm. So it's it's it's very interesting. >> Like there's a direct correlation. It is. It I'm telling you that hence the Baraka Blueprint. >> Mhm. And subhanallah it's what what what I'm seeing here that the reason why I love this particular recording. And this is one that I I I I think this is the one episode that I've taken the most notes in. like you built this nucleus, awareness, presence. And now everything is coming back to it. Subhanallah. Yeah. It's very interesting. Indeed. sorry, please continue. >> Excuse me. Apart from that, the thing that comes to mind is anything that disturbs the peace. That's it. there's a list of things, but I can't even recall them now. You know why? Because I don't think about it. Amazing. I think I think that that answer in of itself is is speaks volumes. Mhm. It's not even It's not even part of your scope. No. It's out of scope. You don't talk about something that is out of scope in the in your when while you're implementing a project, you don't talk about the out of scope stuff. Exactly. As you said earlier, time is extremely valuable. Mhm. So is focus. There's only so many things I can focus my energy on. You're right. But how do you make sure with all of that and every opportunity that were that we get thrown to us and that appears in our way because now you Subhanallah you you're you're describing the you're designing a system for the person and the character that is meant to climb. They're meant to elevate. But they elevate, they climb. They see more fancy things because like you said, opportunity is drawn to the confidence. But how do you stay grounded? How do you stay grounded during the climb? Yes, sir. It's another great question. It does come back to self-awareness. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but Okay, let's take an example. If you're working from home >> or working, you're going to the office, and you're rinsing and repeating your days, and maybe you're productive, but then you notice that you start becoming reactive. Maybe you snap at your wife, or you yell at your kids, or you skip the gym 2 days in a row, 3 days in a row, and you start craving some more junk food. Maybe your mind goes to the wrong places. If you have self-awareness, you're going to catch that. Okay? And when you catch that, you can do something about it. As I said, you don't overthink it. You simplify it. You get back on track. It sounds so simplistic, but people don't want to hear the simple answer because it sounds too easy, but that's the reality. If I am self-aware, I can train myself to be more grounded. I can be intentional and say, "All right, I'm going to be a bit calmer, or I'm going to speak a bit softer to my children. I'm going to do a quick meditation before I hop on this meeting, before I do this podcast." That's what being grounded means. And by the way, being grounded is not being reactive. When people react to their environment, they've lost control. Mhm. Being grounded means being conscious, acting consciously, being conscious in your communication, in your decisions, in your choices, in your habits. That's what makes you grounded. Because you set your own parameters. Yeah. Through your self-awareness. >> Okay. In that case, I have to say I have a couple of final points that I wanted to bring. And like I mentioned before, the Baraka Blueprint is an ongoing experiment. I have pivoted like crazy during this year. I started one way in the in the podcast, and I've had some signatures and all these things, right? Even had rapid-fire questions and ask people what their favorite burger was. Actually, I don't regret that. I am going to I'm going to keep this. But, I've learned something, and that is that the main audience member is me. If I don't gain value from these conversations, then what good is my personal brand? >> Waste. Well, why waste of time? I'm not interested in that. And you're right. >> I love you, brother. I love you, too, habibi. Wallah. Seriously, like this This has been a great reminder for me. Especially when you said, "Don't make a big deal out of it." Today is the second day second time Funny thing, maybe even the second second day in a row, even. But, second time today specifically in this very room, opposite to me was a gentleman by the name Yasmin Alić, aka LinkedIn's final boss. he told me the same thing, but with a different spice and a different presentation. And to each their beauty, and to each their presentation. Mhm. You know, subhanallah, I mean, it it it's it's very easy for me to end up on this tangent and then just branch myself into all these different thoughts. And ultimately, yeah, I am making a bigger deal out of it. Mhm. Dude, I haven't been to the gym for over 2 weeks. I This is I missed 2 weeks and 1 day. Mhm. But if I had I If I was to apply the Step out of it. Come on. Get back Get back on track. Even if it's whatever, 15, 30 minutes. >> Yeah. It's something. Yeah. You've done a You've done a whole lot more. Mhm. And subhanallah, I mean, I I have the same no tolerance for making excuses and staying on that path. But I do that for myself? Mhm. How dare you? Mhm. You are much more important to focus on yourself than on what other people are doing and then subconsciously judge. Exactly. Before you get to I want to comment on this. >> Please. >> Before you get to your rapid fire question. You get to a point where certain development becomes common sense for you. Yes. But to the average person it isn't. For example, waking up, doing your morning routine might feel like common sense for me now. But if I say that to somebody who is not used to it, it's like, "Oh my god, that's so amazing." Or that sounds difficult. >> Revolutionary. Revolutionary, willpower, willpower, willpower, how do I do it, blah blah blah blah blah. I'm at a point now, and this is what where I wish everybody would get to. I'm at a point now where if and I say this with clients directly, if they say to me, "Shuk, I don't know how I can get into the gym." Like, what? What hell do you mean you not going to get into the gym? Open the door. Step out with your right foot. Put your left foot in front of your right foot. Turn around. Close the door. Lock it if you need. And then keep walking in the direction of the gym. Use Google Maps if you have to. Open it. Just go. And the more you describe it, the more stupid it sounds. What do you mean What do you mean I don't know how to do it? What do you mean What do you mean I don't know I can't find time to read? How much time do you spend scrolling on the toilet? >> Seriously, yeah. Yeah. Or or or between meetings or between meals. Like, how much time do you spend scrolling on Instagram? What do you mean I can't meditate? To me, it literally just doesn't process in my mind. If you say you don't want to do it. Don't tell me you want to do it. Don't tell me you want to read more or meditate or pray if you're not doing it. >> Exactly. I'm not going to say I want to keep doing it. I'm going to say I don't do it. It's not a priority right now. Like, I'll give you an example. For example, something that I'm tempted to say, "I want to do more of this." is YouTube videos. I can easily say I want to be more consistent on YouTube. But I'm not going to say that. I'm going to say I'm not consistent on YouTube because I haven't made a priority out of Because if I wanted to do it, I would bloody do it. So, that's total ownership. It comes back to self-awareness. Comes back to character. If I can accept the fact that yeah, maybe I am lazy in this area. That's all right. I'm lazy in that area. That's a way better position for me compared to Yeah, I want to do it, but I can't do it. That's just the ego. It's the big crybaby inside of you. Like, grow up, man. If you're not going to the gym, say, "I don't want to go to the gym." Don't say, "I want to go to the gym." No, you don't. Then why haven't you gone? If you wanted to, you would. am doing this in my signature now instead. I'm leaving my audience with something. Something they can start implementing. An artifact, a product, a whatever you want to call it. Something that any will set them to the right direction. Meaning if there is if there is a TLDR, one thing they can take from the episode. Here you go. I call it the Life OS card. The the basically the operating system, the the requirements of the operating system, and those are going to be rapid-fire things. even though if I'm going to be honest with you, I do have a certain feeling of what some of the things are going to be. But I like to be consistent. Of Of course, we have to be. There's there's there's no other choice than consistency. Yeah. That's a Hadith of Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. The most beloved actions to Almighty God are those that are consistent, even if they are small. Wow. Mhm. Wow. Ooh, yes. Mhm. >> Full of gems today, brother. I am borrowing knowledge. Nothing else. I'm just borrowing knowledge. Subhanallah. But here is the Life OS card, or rather the communication clarity audit. Let's Okay, sorry. Let's start with that. Let's start with that. The communication clarity audit. I person X person who Okay, I understand that at least my awareness goes as far as I know for a fact that I have some work to do. Mhm. I want to be noticed in the room. Let's say that. Or I want to achieve what I want, even if it's something as simple as the promotion or the confidence to correctly address my hiring manager. Mhm. Whatever it is, right? So know I know for a fact that my communication sucks and I need to improve it. Mhm. So, person X says that and I want to give person X four things. It's a daily action, a weekly action, a monthly review, and a hard rule. So, I'm going to start with a daily action. What's one thing that person needs to do daily? Meditate. Ooh, you didn't even hesitate. No. Why? If you meditate, you're practicing being present to the moment. You're practicing self-awareness, and that will inevitably impact your level of presence in any interaction. I'll give you an example. People might In fact, I've had many clients tell me in the beginning that it feels like a waste of time, but then after 2 weeks, they come back and they say, "Shukr, oh my god." They said, "I can see why you tell us all to meditate." What do you Have you tried meditation? Like classic mindfulness meditation? >> course. Of course. Okay, so you know the process, and for anybody who doesn't, you sit down, you focus on your breath or anything really, your body, sounds, but let's just take your breath. Focusing on your breath for 10 minutes, and what happens? Your mind, what does it tend to do? It wanders. It wanders. Yes. It starts thinking about this and that. Yes. The practice of meditation is not to force it. It's to pull it back. It's just pull back your attention to the breath, right? You pull back your focus to the breath. What you're training your mind to do in meditation, by the way, we do this in salah. Subhanallah. Of course. No, no, 100%. >> it's a very meditative. What we're training in meditation is noticing when we overthink, noticing when we think compulsively, and coming back to the present moment. >> noting. Okay. >> It's the noticing and coming back. Yeah, yeah, the noting. You That's one word for it, actually. You notice it, you come back to the present, and if you do that enough times, next time your wife is telling you about her day over dinner, and your mind wants to wander, it's going to come back because you've trained yourself so many times. Next time you're in a board meeting or a job interview and somebody asks you a question and you're thinking about what to say next, you're going to notice it quickly and come back. So, if anybody here listening wants to dramatically improve their presence and energy with their communication skills every day, meditate. Now I understand why this was very, very quick. Oh, yeah. About weekly action. Weekly, I'll reflecting. Yeah, actually I'm I'm a little bit I'm on the fence between reflecting proactive socializing. Okay. Two very different things. Yeah, yeah. Two very different things. And I'll I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. So, if somebody is new to improving their communication skills or they are in an immersion period, let's say for 3 months or for 2026, they really want to dial in their communication, then I would say every week do something social. Go to a cafe by yourself, talk with the barista, talk to the person next to you. Go to a comedy night, go to the masjid and make friends or go out with your wife and meet people. Invite people over to your house. Anything social every week so you can use that as what we call reference experience. Which actually ties in with the first answer I gave, which I was about to give, which is reflection. So, reflect on your reference experiences. So, these do go hand in hand. For example, let's say you want to develop social intelligence and charisma and executive presence. You go out over the weekend with your wife to a social event. You even by yourself. You meet some people. Maybe you're a guest on a podcast, whatever it is. You go back and you reflect by asking yourself, what did I do well? What could be improved? What will I do differently next time? Write that down, ladies and gentlemen. What did I do well? What can be improved? What will I do next time? I've been doing that for about 6 years. I do it daily, actually. But I also do it weekly. I have a tracker that I use. So that would be my weekly answer. Fantastic. reflecting and reviewing that same I know performance is the wrong word. But at the lack of better terminology >> use it you can say performance. You're not you're not performing as an acting, but the way that you conduct yourself is how you perform in interactions. Even if it's authentic. So that has to be reflected on so that your performance is optimized. >> If you want to optimize it rapidly, yes. Of course. Rapidly, this is one of the quickest ways to develop your communication skills. It's by looking at your reference experience as often as you can. Amazing. This is perfect. It's funny because I'm actually prepping a YouTube video on the importance of weekly review. So okay, it's interesting that you chose that as a weekly action. Okay, what about monthly review? For monthly, I do the exact same. I'll talk about my own experience. I have I have a tracker that I swear by. I've been using it. I'm not affiliated with them by any way, unfortunately, but they're called it's called the Monk Manual and it's a daily, weekly, and monthly planner. And it basically asks you the same questions. What's your priority for the day, for the week, for the month? And then what are your relationship goals? Relationship can be with your with God, with your partner, with your children, whatever. And then, personal development goal. And then, same questions in reflection form. So, again, what did you do well? Where could you improve? So, I do the same thing on monthly, but something that I've recently started to do, I hired a coach for this. Actually, I hired him about 4 5 months ago, is doing financial tracking every month. So, the financial tracking is an absolute non-negotiable for me every month. Just checking my net worth, checking how much I spent, how much I invested, and all of that stuff. That's I think for all the men listening here who want to create a family, that's very important. Okay. Not communication related, but it affects your mental health. And your confidence and it as well. Okay, interesting. Very, very interesting choice. >> Yeah, let's be real. But, okay, this one was very difficult for me, which is one hard rule that you like this is this is implemented at all ways and something that's is the most visible, I would say. I wrote many things. Avoid the unlucky and the unhappy. Misery loves company. Thank you for that, by the way. You had no screen time after 10:30 p.m. And know what you don't like. Yeah. So, Good summary. If you were to summarize all of that into one, or if we were to zoom out and look at the branch above it, or the originating branch, would you want to say something there? Figure out what it is exactly that you want. Ooh. Because if you don't know what you want, then everything is going to enter your want-to-be Switzerland. Right? There's not going to be any boundaries. So, when you know what you want, it's like trying to find an ideal partner. Most men and women these days, what do they do? Casual dating. Oh, let me go on a date with X, Y, Z, B, A, B, C, with everybody. Trying to see what I like. When in reality, all you're doing is inviting energy that you don't need in into your soul, into your house, into your space. But, if you know exactly what you want, then you're going to realize what you don't want, either. If you know you want a traditional woman who is family-orientated, who is respectful and feminine, anytime you meet a woman who is extremely liberal and not doesn't want kids, and doesn't respect religion or respect other people or respect their parents, you know to avoid that person. Of course. Same thing in business. I know my ideal client. They're not lazy. They're not For example, let's just use that. I know my ideal client is not lazy. They're ambitious. So, if my closer or myself, we get on a sales call with somebody who struggles with getting up on time or struggles with alcoholism or smoking too much and they really or they smoke weed, that's a no-go. For me, that's not a client that we want. And because I have that boundary in place, even though I'm saying no to money, that's going to open the door to the right people, which will end up creating more money, anyway. So, you disqualify early to avoid problems. Exactly. Well said. Okay. And that only happens because I know what I want. >> Uh-huh. Uh, number two out of three. The life of a scard. Rapid fire, what is >> your non-negotiable? If you were to just choose one. Family orientation. Fantastic. Um you said something that was very interesting as well, which is that you make sure to you have you have you you you you have a routine for writing output and you have a routine for reading input. طيب Uh I have a specific input and output point here. What is your output? Meaning, what do you write? And what is your input? What do you read or consume? Yeah, great So, [snorts] for output Mhm. I write my goals. I write what I'm grateful for every day. And I write my reflections daily, as I mentioned. And very often I write whatever thought or idea comes to my mind. I'm actually a bit surprised right now. I don't have a pen in my pocket, but I normally carry a little notebook and pen in my pocket because even in fact, I'm I usually keep it on me, but for some reason I forgot today. Even during a conversation Even if it wasn't a podcast, during any conversation, lunch with a friend, if I hear something interesting or if I have an idea, I quickly whip out the pen and the notepad and I write it down. I would my wife has caught me multiple times sitting up rapidly in in bed out of nowhere, >> opening the drawer from the bedside table, pulling out a notebook, and scribbling something like a maniac just because I had an idea that came to me. So, it's usually ideas and thoughts that come to me. Sometimes occasionally a bit of poetry um just for fun. I like I like the creative side. on a consistent habitual basis, that is definitely the goals, gratitude, and reflection. And so, that's output. For input, I I to read everything, man. At the moment I'm balancing fiction with non-fiction. So, I'm reading a fantasy series, actually. I do that in the evenings to wind down. I like losing myself in a bit of a world. Okay. Big, thick fantasy books. But, during the day, especially in the morning routine, I I like to read non-fiction. Biographies, you said there. I like biographies. I've read a lot of personal development. yeah, lately a lot of psychology and biographies of great individuals, interesting individuals. Tayyab, for recent strategy, I wrote KISS, keep it simple, stupid, don't overthink. Yes. That sounds That sounds about right. >> Yeah, yeah. I like it. Then, I have one final question. what is your Baraka blueprint? Be still. Listen to the silence. Let your heart whisper to you what it wants. And listen to that voice. Wallahi, I can't think of a better way to end this. God bless you. Baraka Allahu fik. Shacko, it has been an honor. Likewise. >> Thank you so much. I have been waiting for this. And I'm so happy that it happened. Thank you for giving me the time. Thank you for borrowing me your time. I thank you for all the value and the wisdom and the knowledge that you shared. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless you, bless your family, bless your wealth, bless your health. Thank you, brother. And I'm looking forward to the next time I meet you. Likewise, inshallah. Thank you so much for today.